Teenagers - for the record

I guess I have heard that story about how you should put your child in a barrel with a hole it it when they become a teenager, and feed them through the hole, and when they're 18 plug the hole TOO MANY TIMES. It's not funny any more. So I decided to write to clear the record a bit.

Not all teenagers are bad.

I just want that to be clear.

I am tired of moms saying, "Well, he's a teenager," as if that explains why he's driving her crazy. Like it's a stage they're going through, like the baseball hat stage or the wearing the disgusting shirt every day stage. Like teething.

Teenagers are wonderful.

They get a bad rap because the visible ones are hanging out on street corners obviously up to no good.

(And, where are their parents? Making sure they are safe? Nope!)

It's the huge numbers of invisible kids that are doing the learning and babysitting and piano playing and singing and dancing and swimming and scouting and helping others in their communities. It's the ones who are in track, and have to come home tired and still crank out that Social Studies homework and that English outline, and take care of their little sisters-- or help neighbors stack firewood, teach a class at Scouts, and say their prayers at night-- or march in band all day on a vacation day, coming home and taking out the trash even though they've been moving all day and all they want is sleep-- that don't get the credit, the headlines, or the applause. But they are, indeed, our best hope for the future.

These kids don't happen by accident. No, the kids on the street corner or vandalizing the park are the ones that happen by accident, or neglect. It takes parents to guide a child into channels that will help them find identity, happiness and accomplishment. They have to do it themselves - the growing stuff, the learning stuff-- but it takes someone that cares to show them the way. If never exposed to art, music, sports, and service, they may never know it exists. Or, when they do find it, even though it's not the best, it's all they have.

So I submit that being a parent means doing your best to provide opportunities for your child to succeed. Then, when it's all said and done, no matter what, you can have peace knowing you did your best. That's all that's asked of any of us.

In the meantime, all that teaching and learning and watching them grow is just as exciting now as when they were toddlers. It's just as thrilling - maybe moreso-- to watch your child graduate as it was to see them take their first step. Or dance recital. Or play performance. Or to see them play piano for someone else spontaneously. Don't forget that those baby steps happen all along the road, and don't end until we stop celebrating them.